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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23010589">Are you still my girl?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/compulsivepoetics/pseuds/compulsivepoetics'>compulsivepoetics</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dare Me (TV 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Complicated Relationships, Delusions, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Fingering, Forced Obliviousness, Mild Smut, Needy Beth, Repression, Sharing a Bed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:34:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,031</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23010589</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/compulsivepoetics/pseuds/compulsivepoetics</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>1x01 -bedscene</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beth Cassidy/Addy Hanlon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>100</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Are you still my girl?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Beth was on the fritz again.</p><p>I mean, pointing that fucking gun at me? In front of everyone. God if there wasn't even enough shit said about us before, Beth made sure there was now. This will be all over school tomorrow. Everyone will talk. What will Coach think-</p><p>"<em>Addy</em>."</p><p>Her voice cuts through my thoughts like a blade. She was poised over the other side of the bed, pillow in tow, looking at me with annoyed, tired eyes. Though the way she was looking at me made them seem alert. They always seem alert. </p><p>"Are you getting into bed or what?"</p><p>It wasn't a question, not really anyway. She had always framed things as if you could choose between her way or the other. But there was no real option, not with Beth. So I got in the bed, if only to avoid her hard, expecting eyes. Though laying next to her isn't much better. I can feel her energy, radiating off of her body. She's still pissed from the party. What the hell even happened tonight? One minute I was getting decent head from a baller and the next Beth had a gun pointed at me, raving about how I was...<em>gone</em>?</p><p>What the fuck did that even mean?</p><p>I didn't know where the alcohol ended and where Beth began. Why did she have to go and do that? Things have been weird these past several weeks but at least they were calm. Beth and me...we were calm. But I guess she's back to whipping through Sutton Grove like a fucking tornado, leaving everyone else to pick up the rumble. Leaving me. </p><p>I should've known better. Beth would never tame herself for long, not even for me. It was like she was incapable of-</p><p>*Sniffles*</p><p>I turn towards her but not as quickly as she turns away from me, hiding her face. "Beth...are you crying?" She didn't answer. Beth had a thing for ignoring questions she didn't want to or care to answer. So I just scoot closer, resting my hand on her sensitive shoulder, rubbing it soothingly- willing sleep to find us both. I was almost gone when Beth's voice cracked through the night.</p><p>"Everything's changing...you're changing." She sounded sad? Scared? Right now I didn't know. I needed sleep. We both do after tonight.</p><p>I go back to rubbing her arm with more purpose. "No I'm not." I tell her with assurance but she just presses on like I didn't say anything at all.</p><p>"Addy, you're a good person. You don't know how it works. People like that...they throw you away." I pause my hand at her waist, taking in her words. She was rambling things I didn't understand again, like at the party. God, we both need sleep but I have to know...</p><p>"People like what?" She didn't respond. Beth's just drunk. "Go to sleep." I tell her, sliding my hand back up and down her arm. "It's okay." I whisper, finally realizing Beth was having one of her rare moments and she just needed comfort. Assurance. "It's okay." I say again for good measure, kneading the soft flesh of her arm. </p><p>There was a moment of silence before she whispered, "You're still my girl, right Addy?"</p><p>"Yeah." I tell her as my eyes fell close, resting my hand back on her warm hip, letting myself relax under the comforter, knowing Beth had the assurance that everything was going to be okay. Knowing that she had what she needed to go to sleep. When I began to drift off I felt her grab my hand and gently pull it across her stomach and down to the edge of her sweats. </p><p>My eyes flashed open as I tried to jerk my hand back but she tightened her grip, keeping it pressed against her abdomen. </p><p>"<em>Beth</em>." I hiss warningly because this wasn't supposed to happen anymore. We couldn't be like this anymore. Things always got confusing, messy and broken. Kind of like they are now.</p><p>"Addy, <em>please</em>." She sounded...so desperate...raw and needy. This wasn't a good idea. It never was. But as she pressed back against me and vanilla assaulted my senses, hair tickling my nose, I remembered. With Beth, there was no real option.</p><p>So when she pressed my hand down past her sweats and under her panties, I didn't resist. She needed this. She needed me. So I touched her.</p><p>It started out slow and quiet with the occasional sharp inhales of breath from Beth. </p><p>Then I forget myself. I forget that this was already dangerous territory and I let my fingers slid down to her warm opening. I run my fingers around the outer lips, making her cry out, squeezing my arm tightly. I tease her hole, slipping the tip of my finger in and out. A shutter goes through her. I see her hand go under her shirt. Is she touching her boobs? Pinching her nipples? I shouldn't care but I do. It was good that we were in this position. She can't see me. I can't see her. It made it all seem less...complicated.</p><p>Less complicated than the way my thighs clenched together whenever she let out a moan of pleasure. </p><p>Jesus, why are we doing this to ourselves?</p><p>Her hand reaches back blindly, searching. Searching for my heat. The heat that she knew was there for her. Burning. Even when we weren't like this. Far from it. She knew buried deep beneath everything that I pile on top of it...it was still there- burning for her. Maybe that's why she pulled that gun on me. As punishment for the way we are. She blames me. Maybe this is what all this has been about.</p><p>Or maybe Beth was just bored and drunk out of her mind, itching for action as usual. </p><p>Beth needed chaos to stay sane. And this..what we're doing. This is chaos. At least to me it is. Maybe Beth sees it differently. But I really didn't know how.</p><p>How long I could continue to be responsible for her sanity?</p><p>I abandon her aching center to pull her hand back into herself, keeping her from finding the front of my sleep shorts. She immediately lets out a groan of protest in the back of her throat, but I quickly fix that by sliding my hand back into her soaked panties. The night wasn't supposed to end like this. It was supposed to be a kick ass night with hot marines by a fire. But instead I'm dealing with a different kind of flame. I tease Beth's opening again, fingers tips burning as her lips try to suck me in. Just like Beth does. Always trying to suck me in and keep me captive in her fortress of raw heat and emotions. </p><p>I go in all the way this time. Knuckled deep inside Beth. I can tell by the strain in her neck that she's biting her lip. It's only then do I realize I'm biting mine too, <em>hard</em>. Beth...she's just so tight and consuming I can barely breath. I hear her choked gasps, trying to say my name but unable to formulate words, still adjusting to my unplanned intrusion. We didn't normally do this. It's usually just our fingers against each other.</p><p>I pump into her slowly, listening to her strangled moans.</p><p>When she tries to turn around, I press my body flush against hers to stop her. I know what she wants. Where she'll try to take this. I've given into too much tonight, especially considering that <em>fucking</em> gun. She'll have to deal. I pull out to rub tight circles against her again.</p><p>"Addy...your mouth." She moans. It isn't as needy as her original plea, but going by the way her hips roll sharply against me and how she keeps getting wetter...it doesn't have to be. But still.</p><p>"No, Beth." I said firmly. It was moments like these when I could completely defy Beth -boldly and unapologetic. I could wind her up with the tease of my fingers and send her crashing with the stroke of her clit. She was completely at my mercy. She wasn't top girl here under the sheets, <em>I</em> was. I had forgotten about this secret power trick that I had possessed, and Beth had no choice but to give. It was a fucking thrill but I knew I couldn't indulge. Not here, not with Beth. Because then she really would know. Beth would fucking <em>know</em>. And then she wouldn't stop. No matter what I say or do she wouldn't ever stop and I can't handle that.</p><p>So I have to do just enough to keep her distracted and at bay. Which has proven to be the hardest task of my entire teenage existence, but still I try. I have to because the alternative is...unthinkable.</p><p>"A-addy...I-" Her words are breaking up. Beth's tell. She's so close, I know. It's strange to think how fast and hard these memories crash around me. How vivid they are. Just hours prior, you couldn't convince me that I'd have ever given Beth so much as a peck on the lips much less...this.</p><p>I have to stop.</p><p><em>We</em> have to stop.</p><p>"A-addy..." She tries her request again but I speed up my fingers on her clit, sending her into a spiral of gasps and broken sobs that get louder and louder. There's a hundred and ten percent chance that Lana Cassidy is zonked out of her mind on prescriptions- ears too dead to hear her daughter's screams of ecstasy but I tell her to be quiet anyway.</p><p>But of course, she doesn't listen. I put my mouth on her ear. "Shh.." I take her lobe into by mouth, sucking hard. Then I suddenly remember that I had discovered this little trick ages ago by accident. It was surprising that the mighty Beth Cassidy had so many sensitive areas. Areas that were always waiting to be exploited by me when she least expects it.</p><p>"Fucking hell, Addy!" She's shaking uncontrollably now. She's there. I took her there.</p><p>Then she does it. She goes silent, chest heaving. Inhaling and exhaling deeply through her nose. It freaked me out the first time. Beth had always been a vocal person, especially when <em>this</em>, happened. So the uncharacteristic display was off-putting at first until I learned. I slowed my fingers to a standstill, feeling her jerk against the sensitivity. I slide my hand out of her ruined panties to pull back but she was always faster. She pulled my arm back around her waist and entwined my wet fingers with her own against her stomach slick with sweat.</p><p>"Promise me you're still my girl, Addy." She husks a breathless demand, coming down from her high while clinging onto my arm like I was moments from slipping away. </p><p>I sigh, "Beth, I already told you-"</p><p>"No!" She says forcefully, nails digging into my skin, making me whimper in pain. "I need to hear you say it, Addy."</p><p>I leaned back into her, eyes fluttering at the sweet vanilla scent that I never grew tired of. "I'm still your girl, Beth. I've always have been." I breath out heavily against her ear. There's a beat of silence before I feel her physically relax as her grip loosens. All of the suffocating tension seems to fall away from us and the night is still. It's barely even five minutes later that I realize sleep had finally claimed Beth as I laid with my arm still wrapped tightly around her waist, suddenly unable to sleep at all. Flashes of the gun, Beth yelling, Beth moaning, Beth's tight wetness...it all assaults my mind and for now I let it. I allow acknowledgement of the nearly painful throbbing screaming at me from down below, wincing in discomfort at the stickiness that clung to me. I let it torture me, consume me. Because by tomorrow morning we'll go back to normal as if this was all but a dream. </p><p>Because that's what <em>I</em> need. And after everything Beth puts me through...it's the least she can do.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>R&amp;R. Follow me on Tumblr @compulsivepoetics </p><p>We can yell about this fic or any pairings I write about :) </p><p>So first AddyBeth fic. Whadda ya think?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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